I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
