'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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