Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
