A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
