That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
