Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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