and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
