It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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