Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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