How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize