I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
