If that was your dad, he is hot
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
