Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
