Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
