it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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