i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Houston, we have a blender
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Bring me that man meat
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
