chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
