Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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