took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize