question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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