Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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