I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
