he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
