Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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