Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
