Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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