Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
