are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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