If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My Sexting was not on an AP level
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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