I puked a lego.
I just threw up on my dentist
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
