My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
