did you get engaged???
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
