hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
