ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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