Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We got so high we made milksteak
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just want to make out with him forever
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
