I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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