Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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