Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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