I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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