did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
