i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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