just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
