I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
