My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
