i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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