i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
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