Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
