How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
