if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
