I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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