when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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