Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
