So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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