He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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