I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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