You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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