But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
